Friendship
Learning about friendship--what it is, what it means, how to do it-- is probably a lifelong process. At 20 years old I can't claim to be any sort of expert on what makes people friends, or why we need them, but it's becoming a little clearer to me what friendship actually is.
Throughout the last 3 or so years I have had a plethora of different friends and groups of friends. And they've all had one thing in common.
When I was in high school, specifically my senior year, I found friendship in my classmates. That seems a little weird considering there were people I hardly ever had conversations with, or hung out with outside of class. But as I begin to understand what friendship really is I can say that while I had close friends outside of my graduating class, I was probably closer to any one of my classmates than anyone else.
Throughout my first two years of college I've shifted friend groups often. I have a group of friends and then single friends outside of that group, I've had other groups of friends that I sometimes sit with at dinner or wave to across campus. And I still think those people are my friends, even if I only see them once a week.
I have one friend in particular that I have probably become closer to while being away from school than we were when I was there. I think that our friendship probably is the best example of what I believe friendship truly is.
Friendship is doing life together. Friendship is saying "I've been there, too" or "I'm right there with you now."
Allyssa and I have known each other since first semester of our freshman year. During our sophomore year we had a couple more classes together, and even did a group project. But it wasn't until I was no longer at JBU that I realized what a good friend this person had become.
Besides our project, we never did anything together outside of class, we didn't travel in the same circles, or have the same major.
We don't even seem to have a lot in common (other than a love for fandom life, blogging, and Tumblr), she's married, I'm single. It would seem that we have very little to be friends about.
My best friend since 6th grade and I have very little in common besides the fact that we went to school together for 13 years.
But that's why I have begun to think that friendships aren't about having things in common, or doing things together, or even being the person someone calls at 4 am after a bad breakup. Friendship isn't about always agreeing. In fact, a good friendship sparks debate. Something I have learned from my friend Sunny. All of those things can be a part of friendship. But I don't think that's what friendship is.
One of the definitions given for friendship (thanks Google) is "a state of mutual trust and support between nations" (all the other definitions contained the word friend and you can't define a word using the word so that's null).
And I think that applies between people, too.
I think that is the most accurate view of friendship.
Throughout the last 3 or so years I have had a plethora of different friends and groups of friends. And they've all had one thing in common.
When I was in high school, specifically my senior year, I found friendship in my classmates. That seems a little weird considering there were people I hardly ever had conversations with, or hung out with outside of class. But as I begin to understand what friendship really is I can say that while I had close friends outside of my graduating class, I was probably closer to any one of my classmates than anyone else.
Throughout my first two years of college I've shifted friend groups often. I have a group of friends and then single friends outside of that group, I've had other groups of friends that I sometimes sit with at dinner or wave to across campus. And I still think those people are my friends, even if I only see them once a week.
I have one friend in particular that I have probably become closer to while being away from school than we were when I was there. I think that our friendship probably is the best example of what I believe friendship truly is.
Friendship is doing life together. Friendship is saying "I've been there, too" or "I'm right there with you now."
Allyssa and I have known each other since first semester of our freshman year. During our sophomore year we had a couple more classes together, and even did a group project. But it wasn't until I was no longer at JBU that I realized what a good friend this person had become.
Besides our project, we never did anything together outside of class, we didn't travel in the same circles, or have the same major.
We don't even seem to have a lot in common (other than a love for fandom life, blogging, and Tumblr), she's married, I'm single. It would seem that we have very little to be friends about.
My best friend since 6th grade and I have very little in common besides the fact that we went to school together for 13 years.
But that's why I have begun to think that friendships aren't about having things in common, or doing things together, or even being the person someone calls at 4 am after a bad breakup. Friendship isn't about always agreeing. In fact, a good friendship sparks debate. Something I have learned from my friend Sunny. All of those things can be a part of friendship. But I don't think that's what friendship is.
One of the definitions given for friendship (thanks Google) is "a state of mutual trust and support between nations" (all the other definitions contained the word friend and you can't define a word using the word so that's null).
And I think that applies between people, too.
I think that is the most accurate view of friendship.
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