Perspective
When I think back to where I was at this time last year I find that things have changed. I'm sure there are hundreds of thousands of other bloggers starting out a post the exact same way. I'm sure the same thought is crossing many, if not all, of your minds. I'm sure that I've thought it at this time for the last 5 years.
It's one of the good things, and one of the bad things, about adulthood. Some things have changed for the worse. Things like my relationship status, my bank account, my dad's health, my enrollment in school, my proximity to my friends, etc. etc. etc. Somethings have changed for the better.
I think I've changed for the better.
When I was in high school people would do those "Like my status for a tbh". Most of the time people's response to my like was, "I love how you don't care what people think about you."
Well here's my tbh: I did. I cared very much what people thought of me. I liked their status because I cared what they thought of me. I tried incredibly hard to make people think what I wanted them to think about me... namely, that I didn't care what they thought of me.
How ironic.
I have changed for the better. I'm more socially and politically aware. I understand my beliefs, both religious and otherwise, more fully. I care less about happiness found in financial success and more about happiness found in my own ambitions. I can honestly say that I care less what others think about me and more about what I think about myself.
There are things that are not necessarily better, except within the understanding that they are what I care about and want, rather than what I believe to be expected of me. I have a desire to see the world, and learn from it, rather than settle down.
I always thought I'd get married young, and perhaps I still will, but my life no longer revolves around that. I no longer live my life in such a way that I hope to attract a husband. I live my life in a way that attracts me... and if a man doesn't like that, then he probably wouldn't like me.
I wonder if, maybe, I haven't changed. Maybe I just more fully understand who I've always been?
I used to think that "finding yourself" was just some cheesy phrase kids made up to disappoint their parents when they decided they weren't going to college.
I don't know. Frankly, I don't really care. I'm happy. And I'm making myself happy.
I've gone through several friend groups since starting college, but I honestly think the one I have now is the best. That's something that's changed. For the better. They challenge me, they're passionate, they're amazing individuals, and they're wonderful friends.
I suppose I always thought that friendships and happiness were just something that happened. But I am beginning to realize, especially being so far from my friends, that life is something to be proactive about.
Happiness is something to be proactive about.
It's one of the good things, and one of the bad things, about adulthood. Some things have changed for the worse. Things like my relationship status, my bank account, my dad's health, my enrollment in school, my proximity to my friends, etc. etc. etc. Somethings have changed for the better.
I think I've changed for the better.
When I was in high school people would do those "Like my status for a tbh". Most of the time people's response to my like was, "I love how you don't care what people think about you."
Well here's my tbh: I did. I cared very much what people thought of me. I liked their status because I cared what they thought of me. I tried incredibly hard to make people think what I wanted them to think about me... namely, that I didn't care what they thought of me.
How ironic.
I have changed for the better. I'm more socially and politically aware. I understand my beliefs, both religious and otherwise, more fully. I care less about happiness found in financial success and more about happiness found in my own ambitions. I can honestly say that I care less what others think about me and more about what I think about myself.
There are things that are not necessarily better, except within the understanding that they are what I care about and want, rather than what I believe to be expected of me. I have a desire to see the world, and learn from it, rather than settle down.
I always thought I'd get married young, and perhaps I still will, but my life no longer revolves around that. I no longer live my life in such a way that I hope to attract a husband. I live my life in a way that attracts me... and if a man doesn't like that, then he probably wouldn't like me.
I wonder if, maybe, I haven't changed. Maybe I just more fully understand who I've always been?
I used to think that "finding yourself" was just some cheesy phrase kids made up to disappoint their parents when they decided they weren't going to college.
I don't know. Frankly, I don't really care. I'm happy. And I'm making myself happy.
I've gone through several friend groups since starting college, but I honestly think the one I have now is the best. That's something that's changed. For the better. They challenge me, they're passionate, they're amazing individuals, and they're wonderful friends.
I suppose I always thought that friendships and happiness were just something that happened. But I am beginning to realize, especially being so far from my friends, that life is something to be proactive about.
Happiness is something to be proactive about.
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