OK... It's Time for This to be Over
If I've said it once, I've said it about a bazillion times: being an adult SUCKS.
Over the last 8 months or so I have made at least 6 posts about where my life is going and how I'm getting there. I've finally figured out what I'm doing with my life, but I just can't seem to get where I'm going. I know I want to go into archaeology, whether teaching or practicing... or both (Imma be the next Indiana Jones)! But it's not easy. I have been back and forth about college all year, and it doesn't seem to be getting any simpler.
I think I have finally made a final decision. But who knows, maybe next month something amazing will happen and my world will be, once again, flipped upside down.
As most of you know I have spent the last two years at John Brown University. Not only have I had an outstanding educational experience, but I have made incredible friendships and had exceptional experiences. I have fallen in love with the JBU community, and with North West Arkansas in general. I love the culture, the opportunity, and the beauty of the area. My plan, up to this point, has been to finish out my BA at JBU and continue for my MA and PhD at U of A.
But as you also may know I am taking off the fall semester due to financial and family difficulties. That itself has been a very difficult thing to do. I didn't have much choice, but that definitely doesn't make it any easier. Being away from so many friends and the place that I've come to call home is so incredibly hard.
And now I have another decision to make. One that I think I've already made, but perhaps there is some miracle in my future that will change it. Because of these same financial difficulties I am planning to transfer. It is very likely I would be able to afford to go to JBU next spring, but I would have to take out massive student loans. I've already taken out a ton already, and I hope to minimize the time between my undergrad and grad school. I refuse to go to grad school with more than $4000 of student loans at any given point (including any I may need for grad school), so I will have to take off at least some amount of time in-between, but I hope for it to be as little as possible.
My top to choices are WSU and K-State. I came to this conclusion based on cost (WSU is the winner in that), the amount of people I know there and could grow friendships with (which may not seem like a huge deal for many people when choosing a school, but it is a ginormous criteria for me... K-State wins hands down), and the programs (both have excellent programs for both history and anthropology, WSU has a MA program and neither have PhD).K-State is definitely my first choice.... JBU is my first choice school. It always has been. From the moment I started considering colleges I knew that's where I wanted to be, and I want to be there now more than ever.
It's awful watching everyone's back to school posts and knowing I'm not there and that I'm going to miss out on so many things with all of my amazing friends. It's awful thinking about not going back, and the possibility that some of those friendships may not last. It's awful that money has so much power... to make or break a dream.
Much love to The Natural State. I hope to see you soon.
Over the last 8 months or so I have made at least 6 posts about where my life is going and how I'm getting there. I've finally figured out what I'm doing with my life, but I just can't seem to get where I'm going. I know I want to go into archaeology, whether teaching or practicing... or both (Imma be the next Indiana Jones)! But it's not easy. I have been back and forth about college all year, and it doesn't seem to be getting any simpler.
I think I have finally made a final decision. But who knows, maybe next month something amazing will happen and my world will be, once again, flipped upside down.
As most of you know I have spent the last two years at John Brown University. Not only have I had an outstanding educational experience, but I have made incredible friendships and had exceptional experiences. I have fallen in love with the JBU community, and with North West Arkansas in general. I love the culture, the opportunity, and the beauty of the area. My plan, up to this point, has been to finish out my BA at JBU and continue for my MA and PhD at U of A.
But as you also may know I am taking off the fall semester due to financial and family difficulties. That itself has been a very difficult thing to do. I didn't have much choice, but that definitely doesn't make it any easier. Being away from so many friends and the place that I've come to call home is so incredibly hard.
And now I have another decision to make. One that I think I've already made, but perhaps there is some miracle in my future that will change it. Because of these same financial difficulties I am planning to transfer. It is very likely I would be able to afford to go to JBU next spring, but I would have to take out massive student loans. I've already taken out a ton already, and I hope to minimize the time between my undergrad and grad school. I refuse to go to grad school with more than $4000 of student loans at any given point (including any I may need for grad school), so I will have to take off at least some amount of time in-between, but I hope for it to be as little as possible.
My top to choices are WSU and K-State. I came to this conclusion based on cost (WSU is the winner in that), the amount of people I know there and could grow friendships with (which may not seem like a huge deal for many people when choosing a school, but it is a ginormous criteria for me... K-State wins hands down), and the programs (both have excellent programs for both history and anthropology, WSU has a MA program and neither have PhD).
It's awful watching everyone's back to school posts and knowing I'm not there and that I'm going to miss out on so many things with all of my amazing friends. It's awful thinking about not going back, and the possibility that some of those friendships may not last. It's awful that money has so much power... to make or break a dream.
Much love to The Natural State. I hope to see you soon.
I've been reading your posts about how you've been struggling with what to do next and how you've been back and forth on a lot of things. I don't have any wisdom of my own, but I wanted to share something that has helped me: God has it. Even if what you know you should do for yourself and with your life seems impossible because of money and an unforeseen future, God did not bring you all this way just to let you flounder now. So it may take a little self-searching, but ultimately God is in control, and he will sort out the details. So just do what you gotta do. You are in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteMoney, and anything else in the world, only has the power you give it. But God is always more powerful. Sometimes you have to leap first and have faith later.